Emma's Confession oneshot
by MUSiCHiGH
Summary: It's been almost two years since the shooting and everyone believes that's the reason for Emma's strange behavior, when it's not. In reality, there is a certain person Emma wants more than ever which is making her crazy. Someone no one would have ever ima


Emma swore she was happy. Better yet, she abided by that lie day after day with the most fake smile she could slap on.

It's not like she wanted to feel like this; artificially happy with a few fake laughs and giggles here and there. What she really wanted was out of reach and she had no possible means of getting it. Well, that's what she thought. This is what brought her down so much, and taking over her life. This is what made her so morose.

Manny thought Emma wanted Sean, who was long gone in Wasaga Beach and had most likely forgot about his Degrassi clan. Peter wanted her, which Emma did too, just.. not anymore. However, she wasn't one to just drop someone on their feet. She learned that with Sean. The first time they broke up, he came back.

This all started the day everything changed in grade 8. At first it started off as a small schoolgirl cursh, but as time went on it grew into something more.

Emma's mood was changing. She wanted to get her confession out, but she was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of what would happen after her secret was revealed. Her teachers, parents and classmates bothered her daily about the shooting. Asking questions, making assumptions, asking to help her in anyway humanly possible. What Emma really wanted though, was to be left alone. Rick died almost two years ago, Sean left almost two years ago; she was over it.

Her therepist brought the shooting up every Wednesday night when she went to therepy, but Emma insisted she was fine.

"I don't believe you're fine," the therepist would say, scribbling down in her notebook of people's lives.

Emma would just roll her eyes,

"I feel fine. I've stopped cutting. I'm over it, really."

"I think we should put you on some kind of medication, to ease your anger."

_I'm not angry! I'm not upset, I'm over it! Why won't anybody listen to me?_

This usually lead to her giving in and accepting whatever happy pills the doctor would prescribe for her this time. Emma was used to it though, it had been going on like this since the shooting. Spike sent Emma to a therepist - Therepist prescribed Emma with some kind of anti-depressant - Emma would throw away pills - and then the cycle would repeat.

Emma just wanted to scream, scream at the top of her lungs what was bothering her. She wanted to walk up to that one person, who kept her awake at night thinking about them, that one person who's touch she longed for, and tell them her true feelings. It wasn't that easy though.

I mean, it's not like she had never touched them before. As friends they would bump arms, hug, or even hold hands for the sake of getting people aroused.

Now, she wanted it for **real**.

No friendly hugs, no bumps in the hallway. Emma wanted to taste their lips upon her own. She longed for that kiss everyday when she would cross her admirer. Peter just wasn't cutting it, and Emma felt horrible with the fact that whenever he looked at her - she saw somebody else. Somebody no one would even imagine.

This was going to be the day she admitted it, she decided. This was going to be the day her entire life was going to change. No more lying to herself, to her family and to her friends. No more accepting pills she didn't need from her therepist. There was starting to be a large buildup of perscription medicines in her bra drawer, and if someone found them, they would think Emma was really crazy - which was true in some way, she was crazy lovesick.

Monday. Emma got up and got ready for school like normal. She took out the curlers she had slept in over night, exposing a head of full blonde curls. Slowly, she brushed them out, making her hair flow with soft waves. Emma applied her mascara and lipgloss. She admired herself in the mirror for what seemed like hours, sighed (_This is it, this is it_), and left her house.

She marched with fire toward Degrassi Community School, passing houses of friends, her parents friends and other buildings. The school loomed closer and closer. She could see a large group of friends in the distance waiting outside by the steps.

Emma breathed in deeply and trudged on, finally reaching her friends.

"Hey Em," they all smiled.

"I need to talk to you." Emma's attention was focused on one person, one really good friend in particular.

Her dear friend's face contorted, "Em, the bell's about to ring. Can't this wait?"

"Are you my friend or not?"

Emma's stubbornness always had a way with people. Her friend, though completely clueless, rolled their eyes and followed Emma down the sidewalk where they were alone.

"What?" Her sidekick asked, half annoyed and half confused, "What is so important?"

The two schoolmates stared into eachother's eyes for a moment, releasing tension and becoming somewhat relaxed in each other's presense. Emma had always felt this calm, but she wasn't so sure about..

"I -" Emma opened her mouth to speak, but was stopped with the touch of a soft, tan finger placed upon her lips.

"Emma, I don't know how to say this. It's really been bothering me for a while, but I um - I think I'm in love you."

Emma breathed a sigh of relief. All of the fear she had been feeling the past God know's how long had just swept away. She felt the tension throughout her body and between her companion and herself die down. She looked into those big brown eyes and smiled.

"I think I'm in love with you too, Manny."


End file.
